[閱讀筆記] The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (9/10) [2016]

[[閱讀筆記] The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (9/10) [2016]

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📚 BOOK | 破雞蛋的基本資料 📚
書名: The subtle art of not giving a F*CK. 作者: Mark Manson
評分: 9 ⭐ / 10
類別: 我要分類成心裡思考哲學類的書

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In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.

註：這本書對我來說還滿重要的：記得是在丹麥 ODENSE 交換的那個月的，市中心轉角最大的那間書店買的。

看不懂的丹麥文，我半句都沒學

| PART 01: 這本書在講什麼

A counterintuitive approach to Living a Good Life. 時不時，就會有新的一些書，討論的是：Living a good / better life，想要過得更好，更幸福。1) Don't try. 2) Happiness is a problem. 3) You Are Not Special. 4) The value of Suffering. 5) You are always choosing. 6) You're wrong about everything. 7) Failure is the way forward. 8) The importance of saying no. 9) ... And then you die. 總共七個章節。從七個面向，討論著：在有限的 Amount of fcks, 有限的時間，有限的 [...選填...]，抉擇 what to give a F*CK.

| PART 02: 紀錄

In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.

Ch. 2 "Problems are a constant in life. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving."

"There is a premise that underlies a lot of our assumptions and beliefs. The premise is that happiness is algorithmic, that it can be worked for and earned and achieved as if it were getting accepted to law school or building a really complicated Lego set." The premise, though, is the problem. Happiness is not a solvable equation.

Photo by  Martin Adams on Unsplash

說的滿口好話，無形中卻往往在既有的框架下，計算著公式結果。是的，周遭的訊息，無論是書、電影、論壇，FB / Instagram... 提醒著彼此：快樂並非有公式可循；不過，卻常常連上了好幾天班後的假日，交了份大報告隔天中午的空檔，隨興溜進書店的步伐下，每每還是會拿起那些「如何尋求快樂」的這些書，想看看其他人對於快樂有沒有甚麼樣的有跡可循。"BUT: happiness is NOT A SOLVABLE equation. 如果說彙整一下，我想：別想著 "獲得" 或 "變得" 快樂，快樂並非一個 "可以解的" 方程式；快樂，是對於那段時間的附註形容詞，一個註解。

"Problems are a constant in life. Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress — the solutions to today's problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow's problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving."

這應該是這本書裡面我數一數二喜歡的一段。如果把 Constant 用 "常數" 來看，是指一個數值固定不變的常量，或在物理學上，很多經測量得出的數值都被稱為常數，但有研究表明，部分這類常數並不是恆定不變的，因此就被稱作「不定常數」（inconstant constant）和「不恆定的常數」（not-so-constant constant）(from wiki). 在生命中，"Problems" 是個不定常數，有各式各樣待解決的問題，卻永遠有另新的待解決的問題 / 抉擇，無法拒絕 (即使拒絕，仍舊是一個對於問題的抉擇：決定拒絕) → 同時，爆炸量的岔路需要去決定 / 去 GIVE A FCK ABOUT，所以如果說要讓一段感受的註解是 "快樂的"，便是 Give a FCK for 那些我喜歡去解決的問題。

Ch. 3 "Sounds boring, doesn't it? That's because these things are ordinary. But may be they're ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matters."

"The ticket to emotional health is accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: Your actions actually doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things, and the vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that's okay. You will have a growing appreciation for life's basic experiences: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.

不，不是你很特別；反之，你一點都不特別，(對大部分的人來說啦)，生命中大部分對於人和這個世界: doesn't matter，真的：一點都不重要，也不會帶來什麼改變。所以，回歸到踏踏實實的是，那些最 original / basic ，不轟動，平淡，卻是真正的那些經歷。

Ch. 5 "Fault is past tense. Responsibility is present tense."

"Fault results from choices that have already been made. Responsibility results from the choices you're currently making, every second of every day."

"The beauty of poker is that while luck is always involved, luck doesn't dictate the long-term results of the game. Ultimately, the winner is determined by the choices each player makes throughout play.

記得剛好在幾個月的一段時間，滿喜歡玩德州撲克的。如果說以基本規則：依牌形比大小來說，德州撲克不是一個很複雜的遊戲，即使很大的成份以數字、機率計算出結果能得出一個最佳解，好玩的還是在 Human being 的成份，最終仍需要玩家去作出不同的決定，make choices. 做決定，然後承擔那個決定 → 然後做下一個決定，GIVE A F*CK for the call.

Photo by  Andre Taissin on Unsplash

s然，我覺得這個章節還是對於 "責任是現在式" 的當頭棒喝：生命中似又著太多不可抗拒的既定現實，時間巨輪本身並不介意接受或不接受，繼續滾動，既然無既定之事實，承擔這件事實便是現在進行式: Responsibility is PRESENT tense. 記得在服役的第一個月，面對即使已經身在營區內的既定事實，在每個禮拜天的傍晚收假前，仍舊想把 Responsibility 推向未來式，抵制不想面對的將被再現次限制的自由. Fault, then became present tense. 隨除可見的情緒管理四步驟：面對、接受、處理、放下 (大概是這個順序, 吧?) ，總之我覺得還是回到核心的價值: Responsibility is present tense，雖然在文明/科技的演進下，這有點在直覺上屬於需要克服的心理障礙，不過若回到幾千年前的原古時代，無法預測下一餐是否溫飽的當下：責任是現在式。

Ch. 8: "The act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative values.

"To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to it. There's a certain level of joy and meaning that you reach in life only when you've spent decades investing in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career. And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.

"Commitment gives you freedom because you're no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy.

記得曾經在幾年前的 Facebook 塗鴉牆發了一句：有捨，才有得，為賦新詞搶說愁。我媽說我爸笨笨的，但是很老實。國中的時候常在念書念到很煩的時候，在房間內外衝來衝去，跟老大天馬行空地說一堆有的沒的，老爸老媽都會說我大頭症，然後補一句：有捨才有得。

| PART 03: 後記

這次，我想把最後一個章節：... And then you die. 放在後記，因為我還讀不太懂。

Ch. 9: "Without acknowledging the ever-present gaze of death, the superficial will appear important, and the important will appear superficial. Death is the only thing we can known with any certainty.

The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as something bigger than yourself; to choose values that stretch beyond serving yourself, that are simple and immediate and controllable and tolerant of the chaotic world around you. This is the basic root of all happiness.

Photo by  Eyasu Etsub on Unsplash

死亡，仍舊是我讀不懂的一個章節。我在醫院上班，看了很多生與死，也因為工作，在病人前提到可預期的死亡，在家屬前宣讀死亡，在師長前討論死亡個案。Death is the only thing we can known with any certainty. 完全不留有一丁點質疑的空間，人：會死。我還讀不懂。寫完上面這些文字，又要回到急診繼續上班，在疫情滿點的這個城內。

補記：這本書是在丹麥交換的那個月買的，快聖誕節的時候，Odense 的城內，到處都是聖誕節的音樂和裝飾，走進書店，想留一份紀念，送給自己的禮物。

# 拼裝車, 拖在 Odense, Denmark 的石塊地板上

...拼裝工作室...

By 破雞蛋.

💬Email: mata.assembled@gmail.com

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